damonjustisntfunny.com

I have always known I was not the only one.

In the first grade one of my best schoolboy friends was a Damon. I was not, however, threatened by his imposition on my namesake for he was skinny, and small, and had blonde hair, and always wore a St. Louis Cardinals hat (even when he was sleeping). And although he was the only one in class with the complete and working set of Thundercats action figures, everyone called him Damon J.

I was just Damon.

And at home I was King Damon. And I as grew older, and became more interested in exploiting those smaller than me, I began collecting money for the Damon Fund. Despite my penchant for the grandiose, I have begun to accept being called David or Damien mistakenly (or intentionally) and rarely correct people when my name is misunderstood for, really, I would just rather they not know who I was.

I am Damon.

While Damon Wayans has attempted to bring “Damon” back to the forefront of first names (a tradition that began in the 4th Century BC, with Damon and Pythias), the likes of Matt Damon and Johnny Damon have set all of us back into the Dark Ages of Damon. It is worse still, of course, to posses a last name for a first name and a first for a last — a fate I do not shy from — but that is hardly Damon’s fault. Damon Timm, I thought, was fairly unique.

Of course, it is natural to be interested in those people that share your name; more curious still are those of us not named John or Matt — those of us who only run into our name-twins only on rare occasions. Having recently been noticed on this website by Damon (who claims to be funny and does not appreciate my assertation that Damon, universally, is not) and then, not ten days later, by Damon Timm, I was prompted to ponder the persistent questions of what it means to be Damon and, even more specifically, Damon Timm.

A Google Search for “Damon Timm”, unfortunately, reveals mostly results pertaining to myself (tedious), a Damon Timm who won the 2005 Rodel Teacher Award, and a link to a myspace profile that anonymously refers to a Damon Timm as a favorite musicians (I am quite certain this does not refer to me). Searching Google for “Damon”, of course, returns more results than I wish to aggregate at this juncture in my life.

Turning to the world of blogs, a quick search on Technorati again reveals very little of interest above and beyond what Google was able to provide. There are a few posts referring to my search for kisses and the Rodel Winner; when I looked for blog authors purporting to host the moniker Damon, I wasn’t able to find much of interest either except: a Damon who lives in Alaska (which is Damon-worthy) and a Damon who went on a roadtrip.

The two Technorati bloggers and the Teacher of the Year, coupled with the talented musician currently residing in Mexico and my not-so-funny blogging quasi-doppelganger, combine to produce an overwhelming whiff of stale air on the internet regarding my namesake. More needs to be done.

Perhaps if I were to look harder or hire a private investigator I could discover more leads but I have enjoyed, these past few weeks, having us Damons and Damon Timms come together organically on this website (where I don’t have to do anything except check my email) and would like to encourage more of this sort of communique.

So: let us begin the Congress of Damon. To all you other Damons and Damon Timms out there, please make yourself known but, of course:please remember:

I am still King Damon.