damonjustisntfunny.com

If you think that the purpose of this website is to give me an outlet for sharing my music and writing and to encourage me to further pursue these endeavors, you are mistaken.

If you believe I will be more motivated to write prose and create more guitar riffs because I can post my work for the demanding eyes of the public, you are misguided.

If you think, however, that all of this is some terrific front and that, in fact, of all the time I spend on this website one percent of it is actually devoted to creative endeavors, you would winning the tea kettle, bronze tongs, and garlic press.

I possess thirty minutes of patience for writing stories and playing music and then I must move on to something more exciting (such as flossing or seeping the floor). What I am finding I do have patience for, however, is coding. Programming. 0s and 1s. Glorious strings of meaningless symbols and numbers.

Shouldn’t I be putting the finishing touches on In Search of #6? Shouldn’t I be adding better background vocals to Rosa’s Song? Of course. But what I am doing, instead, is spending hours upon hours trying to figure out how to take this code:


if ( in_category(1) ) {
include ( TEMPLATEPATH . '/category-1.php');
elseif ( in_category(2) ) {
include ( TEMPLATEPATH . '/category-2.php');
else {
include ( TEMPLATEPATH . '/category-3.php');


And turn it into this:

$cat = get_the_category();
$cat = $cat[0];
include ( TEMPLATEPATH . '/category-' . $cat->cat_ID . '.php');


I don’t know how to even begin to explain why this enthralls me so and, if you cannot appreciate the difference between the two examples, I don’t believe I should try.

Let it be left at, only, that I have a problem and it isn’t writer’s block or musician’s cramp. It is the fact that I am designing the template for this website and while I know I should be worrying about G-Sharps and how to spell pusillanimous and whether or not In Search of #6 is even funny, what I care most for is CSS, XHMTL, PHP, and valid coding standards.

And if you are still waiting to hear more music or audiobook, you can be sure I am doing nothing to aide your cause and, instead, I am trying to figure out why my div tags won’t float correctly and why when I call the is_single() function it doesn’t seem to work outside of The WordPress Loop.

Don’t try to understand. Just try to have patience.

I am a writer, honest — I just write code, that’s all.